These are not decisions and considerations to make after the kid arrives. For parents who have the luxury of extra room, preparing the nursery will probably be part of the nesting process. That said, it should take place well before the baby arrives. Parents who give themselves enough time can use nursery preparation as a time to relax and daydream about the coming life change. Resentment is how happy family time turns into a disaster — and that frequently does happen in the wake of a birth.
For instance, parents should agree on who is changing diapers when. Who is getting up in the night for feedings if using a bottle , and who will be tackling laundry and dishes. There will be plenty of time for that when the child gets into their teen years. There are plenty of things that parents think they need and will have likely received at a baby shower , but the first few weeks of parenthood will not benefit from toys, or mobiles, or other cute baby accessories. What a parent will need more than anything else is a robust supply of onesies.
How many onesies can a person change in a day? Upwards of half a dozen. Another common clothing casualty is the baby sock. Not only do they get dirty, but they are also often inexplicably lost.
Not, like, in the dryer. But out in the world during everyday life. Finally, consider the season your baby is being born into and stock up on clothes that are appropriate. Sure, your baby will look adorable, but if they are cold or overheated, adorable is worthless. The last thing a parent will want to do is run out to the closest drug store for wipes, diaper rash cream, onesies, burpees, formula, laundry detergent, dish soap, or lotion.
That means that the supply cabinet should have more than enough good to make it through a month. It will take some pressure off and give everyone more time to relax and bond. Once the baby arrives your feelings may change. Breastfeeding might be more challenging than you had hoped or you may want to rethink your feelings about cloth diapering. Discussing discipline, including things like spanking , should happen before your child becomes a feisty toddler.
Beginning the discussion now opens those lines of communication and helps you to get on the same parenting page. Speaking of being on the same page, now is the time to start thinking of yourselves as a team. If the person carrying your child is feeling exhausted and dealing with morning sickness , helping them out is also helping you and your baby. Feeding them what they are able to eat, picking up the slack on housekeeping, or making sure to check in on them every day are some ways you can support your common purpose — caring for your family.
Not everyone has a great relationship with their own father. If your own dad left a lot to be desired you may feel nervous about your own role as a father. The great news is that you get to decide how you approach parenthood.
Find your own fatherhood role models. Having someone familiar with the challenges of parenthood gives you an outlet and a place to ask questions, vent, or commiserate about the experience of becoming a dad. Prenatal appointments are a great way to get excited about the pregnancy. Of course there is the experience of seeing your baby-to-be on ultrasound , but even the other routine checks can help you to connect with the pregnancy and learn more about what to expect.
While work schedules and other challenges may prevent you from attending every appointment, talk to your co-parent about creating a schedule that allows you to be there as much as possible.
This can continue when the baby is the one scheduled for newborn checkups. Becoming a parent can definitely have an effect on your sex life. From the first moment you learn your partner is expecting you might feel a range of emotions — intensely connected to them and craving the intimacy of sex, nervous about doing anything that may affect the pregnancy, or simply… confused.
This is another place where open communication is key. But sex after a baby can be even better. Often the progress of pregnancy and the celebrations like baby showers are focused on the pregnant person, but you are part of this too. Consider hosting a co-ed shower so that you can be part of the fun.
Go shopping with your partner to choose items for your baby. Take lots of pictures of you throughout the pregnancy as well. Documenting these life changes is just as important for you! Creating a registry, preparing a space, saving money, researching child care, and so many more items will need to be tackled to prepare for your newborn. Look for many ways to be involved in getting ready for your new arrival. A new baby can bring about the best — and worst — in people.
Remember that talk about your team? But if you want to limit visitors and spend some time alone as a family that is equally great. Not just in family situations. This may mean speaking up to ask questions at appointments or during labor. This could mean doing what you can to support them in their decision to return to work — or their decision to stay at home. By our very nature, women were designed to nurture and love while men are hard-wired to "hunt and gather" to provide for their family.
Roles are fluid and cross over beautifully. You're a team, raising this child together, imparting your nature, gifts, love and differences to your little one. Men, at first, it's not uncommon for you to feel disconnected from the pregnancy and the baby that's growing inside of her. Often it takes months for you to feel fully "daddy.
Recognize that you haven't lived with this bundle of joy in your belly for 9 months. You haven't felt it kick and move inside of you. It makes sense when you step back and think about.
So, stick with it. Be helpful, understanding, caring and kind with mom, and before you know it you won't be able to imagine a life absent from the title of "daddy. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…uh, what? The very thought of having a baby can be scary and overwhelming. I suppose I can save you a lot of time reading this if you just skip to But if your wife suggested you to read this, then see 2.
So without further adieu…. Your first baby will be a complete life changer. Going from being entirely selfish to having a helpless, screaming creature in your house that needs all your love, attention, and patience will be a huge change to your reality. Take it from other dads…it is the best change ever. I wanted to be a voice for all those people that for whatever reason were remaining silent.
I feel it a calling to be transparent with others, especially other moms. I speak my voice, my emotion, and often times share tips and tricks that I have found helpful. Please note, comments must be approved before they are published. But, fear not You love your baby, but connection, that "feeling of love", isn't instantaneous for many men. That's okay. That's normal. Drop the guilt and shame. And just when you think you have her figured out—BAM! This is especially true during her first trimester.
Always agree with her. Have a burping or farting contest with your wife. Many women have an increased sex drive their 2nd trimester. Hopefully your wife is one of them. Enjoy it. Holy boobs! Did you see 5? Let your boss know your wife is pregnant around the beginning of the second trimester.
See what your options are for Paternity Leave. Go to all appointments with your wife. This includes Dr and lamaze. Educate yourself about birth.
Birth plans. Natural vs drugs. Just because she is gaining weight does not mean you need to also. Decide on what you want to do about circumcision.
And when you want to have it done if you decide you do. You will definitely want to know this before you get to the hospital. Cravings are so real. Get to the store and then back home as quick as humanly possible before the craving changes. Foot massages are golden. Tell her she is beautiful. Again, tell her she is beautiful and believe it.
Take the time to ask how she is doing and truly listen to what she is saying. Pamper your wife. Bring her flowers, write a love note…speak her love language as she may be having a lot of strange new feelings about herself. Have sex to induce labor at the end of the 3rd trimester. Remind her of this. So remind her again. Your wife is going to have a million questions to go over together.
Humor her. After all, there are a lot of things that happen to baby right after birth that you should talk about now and decide on together. Get the car seat securely strapped in the car.
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